Today when I come across one more year, I realise how much change a year can do. I'm a different person now. How much every single day in a year can do? I see how many new things and feelings I have carried along in a year and how many I have lost. I'm a more hurting, frustrated, cool, young, careless, 'fuck you' kind of guy. I'm a really serious guy. I take things very serious. Everything. If I like someone, I'll do anything for them. If I hurt someone I feel so bad. So bad that you don't know. Anything. I don't care what happens to me when I do it. I just do. I have never wanted to be a wrong person to anytime. That has been my lifetime principle. I have always want to be a good person. And in the process I have went through many things where I could not be that. I somehow somewhere was not the same person I were. I did not hurt them or made them feel bad like I did not. I have made so many hurt and feel bad for who I'm. I don't know because like I told you I feel more cool and free with you too. I somehow feel this is wrong. I somehow feel it would it can make a person feel bad and it's not how I have to be. I have always felt I have made people feel more bad about something than the good things. That's always my feeling about someone. And I always try to be good and don't hurt the person as well and I be that guy. I again and again be that guy. My reason to drift a bit from people have always been that I'm not the same guy I were and am doing something wrong. And so I try to change. I try to not hurt you more. I try to not make you feel bad for something and I do want to do the same thing again. And so I change. I change as a less hurting person. I change as a less straight forward person. I change as a less sincere person. I change as a less young person and less reckless person. I have always did it. This had always been my reason to be a different person. Everything even includes feeling bad for making someone feel bad and like a person how much you did like them for the first time. And I do it. I always see who you were to me when you happen for the first time. I always have that memory. And I keep doing it. You're always who you were to me when you knew me for the first time. And then I feel bad too. Even on this time, for something which I don't like. It's the same feeling which I have in my mind called feeling bad. Even in this time which I did not want to happen. I'm a quite 'I know how it feels on a birthday person' and the only thing that I like about me is I make someone feel what I feel. My family and the girl that I love stay the only two people that make me feel what I feel. These two relationships make me feel how good love feels. I'll never let you go. I'm sorry if I did make you feel what I felt. But it's what I feel is what I make you feel and that's all I always want to and that's all I would always do. You mean every good thing that happens to me. And so everything happens the same way and I change. I stop being the same. I change as a better person to you. I chill and don't be the same guy but be a better person and say 'I Love You and just You'. You're everything that I have. Friend, you're everything that I'm now. And you'll always be in my heart. All you people that did not make me feel what I tried to make you feel, I change so I do not make you feel bad that you made me feel bad. I write something that I just feel. I do something that I just love, I make you feel.
